If Only...

2009

     If I could have dinner with anyone dead or alive, I would choose my aunt Lisa. She passed away a little over 3 years ago from breast cancer. My aunt was my rock, my idol. No matter what battle she was fighting she always kept a smile on her face. I admired her strength and beauty so much. Because all of the chemo and radiation, she lost her hair but that didn't change anything. Even with a bandanna and hat on her head she was still so beautiful to me. She died a few weeks before I started high school so freshman year was a little rough for me. My aunt was like my second mother; she was there for me no matter what. I miss her... everyday.
      We used to always go on big shopping excursions with my mom and my cousin Paige. After hours of shopping we would go and get dinner at the Cheesecake Factory. That's where I'd want to go if I could have dinner with her again. We would get the usual; chicken piccata with mashed potatoes for me and the crab cake sandwich with fries for her. I don't like cheesecake but after we ate she would probably order a cup of coffee and some type of chocolate cheesecake. She would scrape up the whipped cream off of the cheesecake and put it in her coffee. I would wear my green and blue polka dot Boden pull-over that she got me for my birthday. It was the last gift I received from her and it means the world to me. She would wear her matching one; it was a pink and orange polka dot jacket. She would have on one of her many pendants from Posh as well. I definitely admired her style.
      We would talk for hours about everything in life. I would update her on the family; about Vernita, Grandma, John's wife as well as all of us. Everything has changed so much since she's been gone. But I'd talk to her about high school and tell her about all of the dresses I have worn for homecoming. That was always something we wanted to do-- pick out my dresses together. I would tell her about the boys who have come in and out of my life. My aunt would ask about college of course, and she would assure me that no matter what path I choose, it will end in success. Her kids would be the next topic. Oh how I wish she could have been there to raise those two beautiful kids. I know they still struggle with her loss although they don't talk about her really. I never see them anymore because of my uncle's new wife and it's sad to see how much they've changed. But her kids will never forget her or the amazing lessons she taught them early on. Their step-mom isn't horrible but I hate her. I shouldn't because she has done her best to help raise them. My uncle didn't do well on his own but no one will ever compare to my aunt. She was the most compassionate and sweet person I have ever known. My aunt was truly one-of-a-kind.
      I wish I could have dinner with her just one last time. I would give anything just to see her smile and to hug her again. But I know she is no longer in pain and is watching over me and everyone else from heaven.